thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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