You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
