normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
