Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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