make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
