An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
even my farts smell like vagina
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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