He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
