giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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