What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
