That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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