I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
