you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
