i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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