Soap is not a condiment
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
