In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
