Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
