Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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