You're a womanizer and a bitch.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
