So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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