so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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