I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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