idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
