after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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