he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
