we're blogging at a bar
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
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