I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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