I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
