I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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