We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
