oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
