that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
