that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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