it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
what day is it and did you see me today?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
