there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
