What a fucking waste of an outfit
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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