He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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