I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
