Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
