I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
