Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
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Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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