we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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