a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
