i was born a porn star she said
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
