I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..