His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
