he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
