I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
