I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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