We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
