When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize