In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
