The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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