U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
