According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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