YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
