god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
