Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
