I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
