I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
