i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize